31 Down PERFORMANCES Wanderlost- Script

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WANDERLOST Text by Ryan Holsopple Mike Sharpie a private investigator...reporting in again.... 1.my best policy is to lose consciousness. To walk these empty streets with the abandon of not knowing where or who I am...I've been walking these streets for days with no signs of her....Helen Tremble. She's gone now and I have to accept the fact....hey coppers, are you listening to me, you just have to accept things won't work out sometimes. I've been waiting outside her apartment for three nights and the lights never come on, who needs light anyway? I'm starting to lose again, the world haunts my feet and I try to take a few more steps to my grave. Where is Helen...damn it guys...where is she. I'm losing at cards and I've dropped the winning hand on the floor. Mike Sharpie, over and out. 2. one one adam...one one adam...damnit one one adam I think I may be onto something... I think I may be onto something... I'm listening in on you...I think I may be onto something... I think I may be onto something... I think I may be onto something... I think I may be onto something... you are watching me...I think I may be onto something...but I am watching you too... I think I may be onto something... 3.illness, sickness...she wanders the streets like a runaway...lonely decisions, an end that she brought on all by herself...she made the move to leave...and now I know she's wandering the streets....just like me...the streets, the streets....I think I may have seen her the other day...I was outside of what may have been her yoga class...I looked in the windows at the women all laying out their mats like subway maps of the city...she may have put herself down on the map and I could only think of the Brooklyn Bridge... That's it dispatch...I am headed to the Brooklyn Bridge 4. Brooklyn Bridge... Brooklyn Bridge.... Brooklyn Bridge...here I am again...reporting in like I said I would...I've left my office...I've left my life...all is empty now and I am here on the Brooklyn Bridge imagining Helen climbing up the lattice work of endless cables ...the time...a wind...she might have been floating away.... She might have been floating She might have been floating She might have been floating. Over and out 5.hey coppers....I have had 36 doughnuts and 52 cups of coffee and I still can't seem to see straight...been up for 135 hours now...how am I supposed to do this...the powder flakes on my lips like some sort of sexual disease and I am starting to die...Helen Tremble is now the farthest thing from my mind...I am a thought. I am a dark breath that she lets out when she goes away, a shadow that has nothing to cast itself on. Death. Death. Cream filled glazed death bundled up in a little package of delight. Doughnuts....doughnuts....I'll bring some in for you dispatch. 6.All things done. I am alone here in this city of disease...I am alone and walking like a corpse...Helen left with that man, she left me and there's no going back now...dispatch...Your listening out there to my grave, a tightly capsulated tomb of despair...why did she leave...I see her.. oh god...I see her...it's been months and now I see her Shit dispatch am I dreaming...am I the one who will fall am I the one who will take the plunge off the bridge instead of her...what did I mean... Listen guys...sharpie here...I need back up...I'm on canal street and Mott....Standing outside a little diamond shop and I see Helen inside talking to the man behind the counter...shit, she may have seen me... 7.the rats are eating away at all things that I have left inside me...life here on the streets isn't so bad...there's enough for me...there's enough...nevertheless, the next day came, a bundle of shit..And I seem to have been following the love of my life on her walk to the bridge...like she said one time...what bridge would you jump off of...I said the Verrazano...I said the Whitestone...I said the Williamsburg...I said the Throgsneck...and she said the Brooklyn...coppers...I've been waiting for her...like a rat waits for the train to come to step out in front of it to be torn to shreds. Rotten Rat blood all over the littered floor and I'm ready to move on 8.I had never dreamed of living in any place other that her room, and here I am surrounded by all of her shit...shit through the ages collected by her eyes...she was a night club singer and I was a lonely private dick....eager to hear her sing into the old microphone like an owl whoos in the night...she was always asking for me in her words...her sounds...she thinks of me and I can't stand it anymore...I've lost her...That little nightclub singer that has sung her last song. The streets are empty now and I just kicked a can into the center of Eldridge street...a man is looking through the garbage...and I feel that is what I've been doing for the last 4 months...coppers listening out there...that's what happens when you live a life devoted to one little songbird and then she flys away... It was me she flys away... It was me she flys ... It flys away... It was me 9.There's no such thing as intelligent vanity...I remember reading this...or did I come up with it... Intelligence is the newest form of vanity, that drips off my head...out here in the rain, the puddles reflect my soiled self...my beard is well formed and I haven't seen or heard from her in days...the only one I talk to is this radio...this police radio filled with all the scum of the city...pounding the wet streets like a thunderstorm of death... It's time to go...I'm walking to the bridge and I am going to jump off... Her wanderlust has driven me mad and I cannot take it anymore...I've got to go home...I have to go away. 10.adam 1 Adam 5 Adam...dammit...adam...adam...As she was going to the gutter...the edge of the bridge...I followed her...I tried to say something but I couldn't..She was still wearing the dress she ...she jumped and I wanted to jump after her....the image of her leaving this world was the image that will stick in my head...the head of disaster...the head of destruction...the head of death... coppers...you're watching me...but I'm watching you. OFFICER 1: 31Adam ( A ROMANTIC) 31Adam I'm sick and tired of hearing the same old story over and over 31Adam I just can't take this job any more...it'll drive me... It'll drive me away from 31Adam who is this Mike Sharpie....I read something in thepaper about him once...it wasn't good.... It wasn't ...he's a private detective 31Adam dispatch...I know this guy and he's been hung up in the same dame for a long time...too long... He's pushed her over the edge now and he's gonna fall in right after her He's pushed her over the edge now and he's gonna fall in right after her 31Adam about those doughnuts...leave the plain brown one for me OFFICER 2: 13 Adam (A MOONLIGHTING STANDUP COMIC) 13 Adam Hey dispatch...I don't know who this Mike Sharpie guy is...But he's gotta lay off... lay off the burgers and lay off the airwaves....he's jamming everything up Pause... This Mike Sharpie guy is a real hoot...we just found him drunk in a corner with a hand held radio on his lap... We were reporting in for that landlord tenant dispute... 13 Adam Yeah...we're here at a night club...the Boom Boom Room Yeah...we're here at a night club...the Boom Boom Room.. Yeah...we're here at a night club...the Boom Boom Room 13 Adam Yeah...we're here at a night club...the Boom Boom Room Seems some nightclub singer has lost it and got a little drunk...hey Bobby...is she awake yet..........................yeah...so the little song bird seems to have been boozing it upr real good....real goood...she's been boozing it up real good.... 13 Adam Back with you about the Boom Boom Room case...yeah seems thhe night club singer's name is Helen Tremble... 13 Adam...we're hungry and looking for some burgers on canal street...anyone know of one...we're sick of the damn dumplings (laughs) dispatch know any good burger joints on Mott Street Over and out 13 Adam...about those dounghuts...I'll take 5 glazed... Hey Gerry...check this guy out...he's a wreck...what should I do??? (Laughs) Over and out Over and out Dispatch (PART TIME HAIRDRESSER): Attention Mike Sharpie...Mike Shaepie...give yourself up you are jamming police radio and you need to quit, or you will be found, beaten and prosecuted. 31 Adam 13 Adam Mikesharpie Helen Tremble...Helen Tremble... Helen Tremble... That name sounds familiar... Helen.Tremb...hey isn't that ... All Units...remember...there are no seat belt rules any more.... All units...there are no rules anymore... All units be on the look out for a Nightclub singer...Helen Tremble is her name... She is wearing a blue dress suit and is carrying a bottle of bourbon....evan Williams... Boom Boom Room...the Boom boom room... Helen tremble missing... All units...be on the look out for a white male, 5'11 and 7/8ths of an inch... He is wearing a long Blue Overcoat...he has a moustache and his eyes are sunken...blackened around the edges... his eyes are pale grey with hints of green, ... He is wearing a hat and carries a camera with a large flash a camera with a large flash a camera with a large flash a camera with a large flash All units, be advised to be on the look out for that Mike Sharpie guy...he just sent the offices here a box of doughnuts...Krispy Kreme Doughnuts...lots of them...the one that is like cheesecake....yeah I already ate that one guys...guys. Bacon egg and cheese buiscut I could go for one..any officers on duty???? All Units....it seems that Mike Sharpie guy and That Helen tremble nightclub singer lady, are headed for the Brooklyn Bridge....be on close watch....wait all units, do not go to the Brooklyn bridge...let them sort this one out on their own (LAUGHS) ...let them sort this one out on their own (LAUGHS) ...let them sort this one out on their own (LAUGHS) ...let them sort this one out on their own (LAUGHS) ...let them sort this one out on their own (LAUGHS) Damn Mike Sharpie these doughnuts are good All units...be on the look out for a white male, 5'11 and 7/8ths of an inch... He is wearing a long Blue Overcoat...he has a moustache and his eyes are sunken...blackened around the edges... his eyes are pale grey with hints of green, ... He is wearing a hat and carries a camera with a large flash he's taking pictures of people on canal street All units...be on the look out for a white male, 5'11 and 7/8ths of an inch... He is wearing a long Blue Overcoat...he has a moustache and his eyes are sunken...blackened around the edges... his eyes are pale grey with hints of green, ... He is wearing a hat and carries a camera with a large flash he was last seen going ito J and R music world. << Back